With 4th of July weekend quickly approaching, it's difficult not to think about where I was and what I was doing this time last year. Maybe because prior to this year, 4th of July was virtually non-existent or maybe because this year, it is. It feel like that part of my life is so much further away than just a year; that the people who meant the world to me, I no longer communicate with.
Exactly a year ago, I was on the second floor of a convention center, dressed in enough layers for ski slopes, physically and emotionally weak in every sense of the word; wishing time away. It wasn't all enjoyable but I did (and still would) long for the end result. The struggles, the hard work, the pain-- all things I am proud of. I've defied my own abilities and that journey has shaped me into the woman I am. I understand what I am capable of. I've proved it time and time again. As with all wonderful things, you eventually reach the last page of the chapter. It was all part of what I lived for, what I loved and what I eventually had to leave behind. To move on. To grow. To start my life in reality.
It's undoubtedly a bittersweet sensation and continues as a daily struggle, I can't help but strive for peace. Peace within the situation. Peace within myself. I'm still searching for my silver lining because I believe it exists.
Believe.
No comments:
Post a Comment